


The Letter

by Aquamint



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Crack, F/M, I had a weird dream this happened to me, honestly idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7395073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquamint/pseuds/Aquamint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder gets a strange letter. He and Scully have to go back to Martha's Vineyard to figure out what the deal is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Letter

Without saying a word, Scully walked into the office and plopped an envelope onto the desk right in front of Mulder. 

“What’s that?”

“Don’t know.” she replied, “The mail boy told me to give it to you.” 

He slid a finger under the envelope’s flap and ripped open the thin white paper. He was quiet for a moment and then started to laugh.

“This has got to be some kind of joke. It’s a letter from my elementary school back home saying that they ‘recently audited the school records of the last three decades’ and that I did not actually pass the fourth grade.” 

Scully stuttered, “what? I… well… I don’t see why that matters at this point.”

Mulder stood up quickly, removing his glasses and carelessly tossing them toward the jumble of junk atop his desk.

“It matters because if I don’t go back and re-do the fourth grade they are going to take away my high school diploma, my degrees, certification from the academy, everything. That what the letter says. I wouldn’t even be hired to mop the floors at IHOP. This can’t be real.”

“Well can’t you call and find out what this is all about. I am sure this is a mistake.”

“It says if I miss the first day of the summer school session they won’t let me into the program,” Mulder whined. 

“Mulder, this is nonsense. Just call the school office and have them clear this up.” 

“They closed at 5. Scully, the re-do session starts tomorrow. I have to go. I can’t risk it.” 

Scully did not even know what to think of the whole thing, She said, “What does the fourth grade even matter? You know how to tell time and multiply or whatever it is you learn at that age. Are they going to put you in a room full of nine year olds?” 

He began rifling through file cabinets in a frantic search for any documents that could prove his qualifications: resume, college transcripts, FBI academy certificates, anything. 

Over his shoulder he called, “Scully, please call and book the first flight to Martha’s Vineyard. I’m going. I’ll make the first day and then I’ll talk to the superintendent and try to convince him to let me out of this. Please come with me.” 

Incredulous, she bellowed, “You’re going to skip assignment to go be in the fourth grade?! Are you crazy?” 

With eyes wide, he replied, “What choice do I have?”

* * * 

The flight to the island was absolutely dismal, with Mulder holding a manila folder of academic documents and wondering aloud what he could have possibly done wrong to fail the fourth grade, and Scully scowling at all his speculations. 

They rented a car, and arrived at the location specified in the letter as being the summer school site at 8 AM sharp. With over an acre of grass and a few small brick buildings labelled “restroom,” it looked more like a very large park than a school. In the distance, there was a large, loud group of people lined up in front of a building, all facing away from it, as to see anyone who would approach. As Mulder and Scully neared the group, they could see that the people were holding signs and wearing different colored robes and hats. They were also cheering. 

“HEY THERE! WHAT GRADE ARE YOU IN!!!!?????” a blonde woman in a golden yellow robe shouted.

“Ughhh… fourth.” Mulder answered. 

“AWW YEAH! YOU’RE WITH US!” she hollered back. 

“They’re all adults… I guess I was having too much fun picturing you sitting in a tiny desk and tiny chair,” Scully mumbled.

“They must have found a bunch of people who flunked. Well, they seem nice enough. After dismissal I’ll go meet with the principal to see if I can be excused from this and get back to my normal life.”

“Normal life,” she scoffed. “Have a good day at school, kiddo,” she chirped as he went to join the gold-robed group. 

The blonde woman wrapped him in his own yellow silk gown and a few minutes later the whole line paraded into the school building, color coded by cap and gown into grade levels. 

Mulder separated from the group as it travelled through the corridor and went into the room marked “4th grade.” The lights were off, but he could see that there were about forty small desks and chairs in the classroom and a few people standing at the far side of the room. As he approached the front of the classroom he recognised two of the three figures. One was a lady who works in the office down the hall at the FBI headquarters. The other woman was Mrs. Hearne, his fourth grade teacher!

“Fox, is that you?” Mrs. Hearne called.

He was caught off guard, surprised that she even remembered him, “Uh, Hi Mrs. Hearne. What all is this? Are you teaching my class?” 

His stomach started to churn.

“Yes, class will start in 10 minutes! We are learning about frogs today,” she said, holding up a coloring page of a cartoon bullfrog. 

Mulder’s vision was getting blurry. He tried to say “I guess that is enough time” before stumbling hurriedly back out into the corridor in search of a restroom. When he found the restroom, he quickly locked himself into the closest stall, just seconds before he started to..

* * * 

Mulder woke on his couch in a cold sweat.

He had thrown the blanket onto the floor and was left in just his boxers and socks. The grey light from the TV’s staticky end-of-the-tape screen illuminated his living room, floor and coffee table covered with newspapers and case files and any odd page.

He thought to himself, that was a fuckin weird dream.

**Author's Note:**

> honesly i dont knnow why i did this. basically i had a weird dream that I got this letter and all these same things happened to me but I was bored and thought it would be even funnier if it happened to a character I loved.   
> THis is also the first time I have ever written fan fiction of any sort so that is cool.


End file.
